


Rationality

by boomerbird10



Series: Tiva/Tivali Drabbles [15]
Category: NCIS
Genre: 7x01, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Season 17, episode: In the Wind, episode: Truth or Consequences, parallel, season 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25682551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomerbird10/pseuds/boomerbird10
Summary: Tony and Ziva have a tense heart-to-heart on the way home from Somalia.
Relationships: Ziva David/Anthony DiNozzo
Series: Tiva/Tivali Drabbles [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1749793
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Rationality

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a 1k-words-or less challenge to write a Truth or Consequences fic including the line "You could have died." Scene one is set during ToC, scene two is shortly after In the Wind.

After several minutes of tired silence, Ziva finally speaks.

"You could have died," she says. Her face and her voice are… off, making it difficult to interpret the sentiment behind her words. Is she scolding? Worrying retroactively? Merely observing?

"So could you," Tony replies slowly; now hardly feels like the time to contradict her.

"But that was…"

Tony waits, but she doesn't finish her sentence. "That was what?"

"That was different. There was only me to worry about."

"So?"

"So, I was not…" Ziva looks away, and Tony's heart clenches. Uncertainty and hesitation used to be rare for her, but now she's agonizing over every word.

Without thinking, he reaches over to take her hand, but she jumps and jerks away; he instantly regrets trying it at all. "Sorry," he mutters. "I was just…"

"I know." Her voice, virtually toneless before, is now rough.

They're on a cargo plane, strapped side-by-side into jumpseats and headed for North America. For now, no one else is around to hear them... McGee is slumped in his own seat a few feet away, drooling slightly as he sleeps, and Gibbs is belted in against the opposite wall, awake but too far away to catch their soft voices.

Given how he and Ziva left things months ago and given the way he's already messing this up, Tony wishes that one of the other team members was present to help with the uncomfortable conversation.

"Ziva?"

"What, Tony?"

"Can you finish that thought? ' _I was not_ …'"

Ziva shrugs, still looking away and keeping her hands tightly clasped in her lap. "I was not putting myself in danger for the sake of someone else," she finally answers. "The consequences that followed… they were my burden to bear. _I_ chose to go to Somalia. I knew what awaited me—I knew that I would die. I welcomed it."

Tony's surprised by her words—she has barely strung two sentences together since Saleem brought her into the makeshift interrogation room some twelve hours prior—and for a few moments, he's not sure how to reply.

Unfortunately, Ziva seems to take his silence as agreement, and to Tony's horror, her chin starts to wobble ever-so-slightly.

" _Ziva_ ," he says again in a low voice.

Somehow, he knows that she hears him over the roar of the engine, but she doesn't look at him, and he tries again.

"You said you weren't putting yourself in danger for someone else's sake, but that's not true, is it? You went where Eli sent you. It was not your decision to—"

" _Enough_."

Tony sighs roughly and lays off his least-favorite foreign leader for the moment. "Ziva," he murmurs, "you followed Mossad orders into the desert, right? You may have accepted the mission or whatever, but you can't—"

Ziva jerks her head back around sharply so her eyes can meet his. "It does not _matter_ who gave the order, Tony! _I_ chose to go, and I chose to go alone!"

Her words are suddenly _very_ hard, full of vitriol, and it's a relief to see... maybe the old Ziva is still in there after all. "Alright, alright, fine, going was your choice," he agrees quickly—he fully plans to argue again later when things are not so fresh for her. "But following you was _our_ choice."

"I did not ask you to—"

" _Exactly_! We've been over this, Ziva, and my answer isn't changing!" Tony lets out a frustrated little laugh, goaded by her stubborn self-flagellation into getting fired up himself. "Are you really so delusional that you think McGee and Gibbs and I didn't volunteer for this trip? Well, okay, _I_ volunteered and Gibbs did, too, but technically, I guess I'm the one who volunteered McGee. But that's not the point… The _point_ is that _no_ , you didn't ask us to do _anything_! NCIS didn't send us, either—actually, I'm pretty sure Vance _expressly_ said he couldn't send a team. _We_ chose to come, because when someone kills one of our own, we take it personally. Feel however you want about what you did while you were gone— _whatever_!—but if you're insisting that you made your own choices, you have to accept that we did the same thing."

"But it made no sense! I have not even seen you three in _months_ , much less worked as a member of your team!"

"You really think that _matters_!?"

"Last we met, I nearly _killed_ you, Tony! I accused—"

"Water under the bridge, Ziva."

Ziva shakes her head, incredulous. "I still do not understand. You thought I was already dead, and yet you came. That is irrational at best."

"Family's not rational. Never has been."

Ziva swallows hard enough that Tony can see it. "Family?" she echoes softly, her ire gone as quickly as it appeared.

Tony relaxes and grins a little, relieved that he's finally getting through to her. "Just stop arguing and say 'thanks for the rescue,' okay?"

"Ha… thanks for the rescue."

And then slowly, hesitantly, Ziva takes his hand.

* * *

"You could have died," Tony says quietly, his fingers hovering millimeters above a small cut on Ziva's cheek, left there mere days ago by Sahar.

Ziva grins slyly, and it's only after she speaks that Tony understands why. "So could you."

Oh, he remembers what she's referencing, something from years ago. "Let me guess…" He _does_ touch her face then, though this time it's cradling her cheek instead of worrying over tiny injuries. "Family's not rational, right?"

"You told me so years ago, Tony, and I have not forgotten."

"Did it ever sink in?"

Ziva looks down at Tali, draped across their laps on the couch and fast asleep with her thumb in her mouth. "I think I understand now. Rationality… it may be overrated."

She looks back up to see Tony smiling at her with incredible warmth. "Yeah?" he checks, his voice soft and free from teasing.

"Yes," she answers firmly.

And then slowly, not-so-hesitantly, Ziva takes his hand just as she did before.


End file.
